One simple statement has served me so well as a parent, professional and friend. I read it in a parenting book along the way and it goes like this: "When I said (fill in the blank), what was your understanding of that?"
Time and again, when I ask this question, I am so surprised by the answer. I thought I was clear in my communication; but we all listen through our own filters, fears and hopes. Meaning often, what we say is not what someone hears!
Communication is an art form. It really is. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter a whit what I mean if what I mean is not understood. Rather like the very vital distinction between intent and impact.
How often do you hear or say, "I didn't mean to make them feel bad." True enough. But, whatever the impact was on the other person is, in fact, what was communicated. That was the impact, regardless of intent.
The only tool we have, my friends, when wondering if we've communicated clearly is to ask. To ask without defense, without challenge. "Did I make myself clear? Do you have any questions? Do you know what I mean? Does this make sense to you?"
Open ended, kind questions are so powerful.
The worst communicator is a ranting dink head. Never mistake overpowering anyone with a win. It makes for two losers.
Was that clear? Are we on the same page? I hope I've effectively communicated with you.
It is very satisfying to "be heard" and to hear....clearly and fully. Here's to more art and less assumption in communication.
Time and again, when I ask this question, I am so surprised by the answer. I thought I was clear in my communication; but we all listen through our own filters, fears and hopes. Meaning often, what we say is not what someone hears!
Communication is an art form. It really is. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter a whit what I mean if what I mean is not understood. Rather like the very vital distinction between intent and impact.
How often do you hear or say, "I didn't mean to make them feel bad." True enough. But, whatever the impact was on the other person is, in fact, what was communicated. That was the impact, regardless of intent.
The only tool we have, my friends, when wondering if we've communicated clearly is to ask. To ask without defense, without challenge. "Did I make myself clear? Do you have any questions? Do you know what I mean? Does this make sense to you?"
Open ended, kind questions are so powerful.
The worst communicator is a ranting dink head. Never mistake overpowering anyone with a win. It makes for two losers.
Was that clear? Are we on the same page? I hope I've effectively communicated with you.
It is very satisfying to "be heard" and to hear....clearly and fully. Here's to more art and less assumption in communication.
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