Years ago a dear friend and retired psychologist, Dr. Grant Johnson, asked me this question, "Beth, do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?" To which I replied, "YES!"
This one line continues to occur to me often, and I found myself repeating it to my son, a young adult, just last night. He was ranting about how "stupid" requirements were for something he was attempting to do with a government office. He was so annoyed at the process that he simply stopped moving forward. I gave him my assessment that he would be very foolish to abandon his efforts due to being annoyed at the government! Ha! The all time litmus test: "Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?"
How often do we easily and quite justifiably find flawed processes, stubborn people, ridiculous bureaucracy and other annoying circumstances? On general principle alone one feels justified in withdrawing and indulging in righteous indignation! The fools! The idiots! How dare they?!
The trouble is, of course, we shoot ourselves and our goals in the foot while we're at it. We might be right -- but we sure as hell ain't happy!
I see that occur occasionally in home negotiations. In a transaction the better part of a million dollars a sale can be derailed over a 300.00 microwave. Really. And, at that stage, it is of little comfort that I'd buy a new microwave. It becomes the principle of the matter between buyer and seller.
Once again, someone might have a moral victory but a horribly timed dream home failure!
The higher we get, when we're "getting up on our high horse" the greater the fall back to earth. My secret notion is that if most of us could hear a recording of ourselves when we're ranting about some unfairness or other, we'd melt in embarrassment! Shake it off, my friends, move forward.
Here's a little song he wrote, and you can sing it note for note...."don't worry; be happy!" Or, as another wise one said: "Don't sweat the petty stuff or pet the sweaty stuff."
This one line continues to occur to me often, and I found myself repeating it to my son, a young adult, just last night. He was ranting about how "stupid" requirements were for something he was attempting to do with a government office. He was so annoyed at the process that he simply stopped moving forward. I gave him my assessment that he would be very foolish to abandon his efforts due to being annoyed at the government! Ha! The all time litmus test: "Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?"
How often do we easily and quite justifiably find flawed processes, stubborn people, ridiculous bureaucracy and other annoying circumstances? On general principle alone one feels justified in withdrawing and indulging in righteous indignation! The fools! The idiots! How dare they?!
The trouble is, of course, we shoot ourselves and our goals in the foot while we're at it. We might be right -- but we sure as hell ain't happy!
I see that occur occasionally in home negotiations. In a transaction the better part of a million dollars a sale can be derailed over a 300.00 microwave. Really. And, at that stage, it is of little comfort that I'd buy a new microwave. It becomes the principle of the matter between buyer and seller.
Once again, someone might have a moral victory but a horribly timed dream home failure!
The higher we get, when we're "getting up on our high horse" the greater the fall back to earth. My secret notion is that if most of us could hear a recording of ourselves when we're ranting about some unfairness or other, we'd melt in embarrassment! Shake it off, my friends, move forward.
Here's a little song he wrote, and you can sing it note for note...."don't worry; be happy!" Or, as another wise one said: "Don't sweat the petty stuff or pet the sweaty stuff."
No comments:
Post a Comment