Year's ago a friend of mine; a retired psychologist living in Arizona, surprised me with this question. "Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?" Yes! I thought; to both. But sometimes they are not mutually achievable.
Speaking with my colleagues we are often amazed by some of the factors that foil a deal. I am a principled woman and understand that a line in the sand based on ethics is honourable. But a line in the sand based on stubbornness is just, in my dear departed mother's line, "cutting off your nose to spite your face." Deals go sideways because someone won't leave a washer and dryer in the home; or is taking the pump to the koi pond. Deals go sideways because sellers and buyers get within 500.00 of a 1/2 million dollar purchase and refuse to budge. Deals go sideways often because someone gets nervous and makes a big deal out of a little thing.
The end result of such failures to launch may give someone a sense of self righteousness -- but doesn't deliver a happy; or moved; or onward in their life's adventure, seller or buyer.
A great negotiator is almost always a great diplomat. I love to present my own offers to sellers rather than simply scan them to their listing realtor. This gives me the chance to outline why our offer is what it is; why there is flexibility in some aspects of the offer and not with others. It gives me a chance to gauge what is paramount to the sellers.
And, silence is a great tool in negotiations! Trust me, I'm an Irish gal raised in New Jersey; if I can learn to let silence settle you certainly can! Some of the roadblocks in relationships and deals are simply a result of too much talking.
So often people get sidetracked on short term tactics. Rather than hire a great negotiator that in the end will put way more money in their pockets they take the cheapest priced commission. Rather than listen to great advice from their seasoned realtor about where to yield and where to stand firm they make a large issue out of a small item.
Find a realtor you can trust. Then trust! Be happy. Be moved. Be onward with your life's adventure.
1 comment:
From Dr.Grant Johnson, the one who started this thought long ago, he and his wife have a hobby farm near Cornville, AZ:
Good Morning, Beth-I enjoyed your article and thank you for the remembrance. Yes, this is a difficult one for almost everyone because we like to be right which is just okay except if the desire to be right interferes with a sense of well-being. Because I am a Personal Identity psychologist, I am aware that most people struggle with this dilemma.
I thoroughly concur with your remarks about finding a real estate representative. I have always thought that they more than earned their commission and, if you listen to them, they often save you a great deal of money. We are still good friends with the wonderful woman who led us to the purchase of Smoke Horse Ranch. It would be great to see you again.
Post a Comment